You're Not Alone: Emily B.

My clients often feel isolated as they plan their weddings. They can't talk about the hard parts because people think they're complaining, ungrateful, or second-guessing their choice to get married. But I know something my clients don't: They're not alone. Hear it from people who've been there.

Emily B.
Married October 27, 2017

When it comes to your wedding, what was your...

Worst surprise?

I was stunned by how hard people are on brides. As soon as you mention you're doing something that's not a cliché — like no garter/bouquet toss, no cake, or not changing my last name — so many people gave me a hard time!

Leading up to the wedding I had a lot of people ask, "Are you so stressed out?!?!" and that was insanely frustrating. Sometimes yeah, I was, other times I wasn't worried, and, at the end of the day, it's nobody's damn business.

Also, the amount of drama surrounding guest lists! It's difficult enough to plan a wedding so if you genuinely don't want to invite some random person you don't like, you should not feel guilty about not inviting them. There's a lot of guilt put on brides and it's ridiculous.

Basically, my worst surprise was realizing how applicable that article you sent me was. Seriously, share that with everyone. The word "bridezilla" should be blacklisted forever. Live your best life, girl!

Last worst surprise: Weddings are STUPID expensive.

Biggest regret?

I think as long as you go in with the right perspective, you're good to go. Know that something will go wrong. Whether it's the weather, the seating chart, the flowers, whatever — some detail will go wrong and hopefully, that detail that goes wrong won't be something monumental.

It's really hard to not have complete and utter control over everything. Guests will drive you bonkers and not RSVP or will RSVP and cancel day-of (we're still pissed at our friends who did that) but you just kind of have to go with it. It's not worth letting those things wreck your day.

Have your few things that matter the most. I kind of fought with my mom on how long we'd have the photographer but from the very beginning, I knew that the stuff I cared about the most was the music, the pictures, the venue, and the dress. I always knew that even if something went wrong, I would be marrying my husband and we'd be surrounded by our loved ones who wouldn't care if something went wrong.

Best advice?

Everyone said this to me and they were so right: Enjoy every minute because it goes by so fast!

The whole day was a blur, which was also really hard after the fact because you spend so much time and money planning this giant event and then it's suddenly over. There's kind of a depressing feeling when you get home and everyone's gone and you have to go back to real life.

During the reception, I generally had people come to me rather than trying to make the rounds because I wanted to enjoy all the stuff we paid for (like the food, music, drinks, photo booth, etc.). Know how you want to spend your time and don't feel obligated to do anything else. It also works out well if people are in town for a while or if you aren't doing too much of a destination wedding because that cuts the mandatory hellos down by a ton!

One of the best things we did was take time for my husband and I on our wedding day. We purposefully wanted photos right after the ceremony as time for just us. Also, I found the first look to be so much more personal than having us wait until the ceremony to see each other. Just milk every single moment, know your priorities for the day, and go for it!

Oh, and take professional dance lessons. So worth the cost!

Have something to share? Email me at elisabeth@elisabethkramer.com