You're Not Alone: Ruchika T.

My clients often feel isolated as they plan their weddings. They can't talk about the hard parts because people think they're complaining, ungrateful, or second-guessing their choice to get married. But I know something my clients don't: They're not alone. Hear it from people who've been there.

Ruchika T.
Married January 28, 2012

When it comes to your wedding, what was your...

Worst surprise?

I was surprised to find that some people thought it was OK to criticize certain things about the wedding or my appearance when it was clearly such an important time for me. One example: An auntie offered "useful" advice to make my hair look better — and then sat with me for a good 20 minutes dispensing this wisdom while I was getting my henna done so I couldn't go anywhere.

I've learned there are only two acceptable things to say to a bride during her wedding: "You look amazing" or "Here, let me fix that for you."

Biggest regret?

Not eating! I was both excited and nervous throughout the wedding and only realized after the entire celebration was over that I didn't eat much at all. When my wedding guests later came up to me reminiscing about the great food and cocktails, I literally hadn't tasted any of it (except during pre-wedding tastings!). So if I could have a do-over, that's the first thing I would change.

Best advice?

"Those who mind don't matter; those who matter don't mind!"

There's a lot of pressure for weddings to be perfect, especially as the hosts. We had people flying in from all over the world for our wedding, and I kept worrying something major would happen: the food wouldn't be to everyone's liking or some guest would be offended about something obscure.

My mum and sister had to keep reminding me that those who loved me and were there to celebrate with me wouldn't mind no matter what went wrong, and that I shouldn't concern myself with those who may complain. Nothing big did go wrong — or if it did, I remain sheltered from knowing about it, thanks to my family!

Have something to share? Email me at elisabeth@elisabethkramer.com