One of my 2020 couples is getting married today.
Originally, they were going to get married next month but now they’re out hiking and getting married at sunset. And in exactly two years from today — August 20 — we’re going to get together and celebrate what they’re doing right now on a mountain.
Which has me thinking: What will the world look like on August 20, 2022?
OK, scary question. Let’s go the other direction. This past Tuesday — August 18 — was the second wedding anniversary of the very first couple who ever hired me.
Their wedding two years ago was not the first wedding I ever did. Between the day Lily and Ned* hired me in January 2017 and their wedding day in August 2018, I worked seven weddings but theirs will always hold a special place in my heart. Lily and Ned trusted me when I didn’t quite trust myself.
For a year and a half, we spoke every month. When Lily and Ned got married on August 18, 2018, it felt like like we’d reached some kind of summit.
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Working with a couple for 18 months is unusual for me. Or, at least, it was before COVID. Now I have couples on my books whom I’ll be working with for far longer. In many cases, we’ll be together for more than two years.
The CFOs in the audience are grasping their calculators. That’s horrible business sense. Yes, I’m aware. But there’s a silver lining here, too.
Just think of how much deeper and richer those relationships will be after all those extra days of loving each other. True, it’s a mountain we would have preferred not to climb but the longer the path up, the better the view.
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One final story and then I’ll put my nostalgia and crampons away: Last week, I spoke with a couple who wants to get married in summer 2021. Eleven months used to be a long time but then COVID happened and we all realized how capricious time is.
This couple was at their wits’ end. They wanted to marry each other — that hadn’t changed! not at all! — but the planning part just felt impossible. They’d pull up their to-do list and feel both fatigued and keyed up. If we stop now, we’ll be behind but we’re so exhausted, we don’t even know where to start.
Our call was the easiest I’ve had in awhile: If you’re feeling this way, take a break.
That’s controversial advice because yes, you’re planning a wedding. There are things to do and many are timely! I am a wedding planner. I have an abnormal love for planning ahead.
But here’s the thing: If planning your wedding isn’t bringing you joy, stop planning your wedding. Not forever. Just for now. Even mountain climbers take breaks before they reach the top.
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*Not their real names